whoaaa.....

Okay, so it's been about a full month since I've posted.

LoTs have happened in the interim. Let's see...in chronological order (to the best of my memory) I finally filed my taxes on the 15th and to my surprise, I got quite the return! (Thank you, School!).

So since my GPS & digicam were stolen, (I told you about that, right?) I decided to take 200 bucks of my return and replace my stolen items. J & I considered filing an insurance claim, but with a $500 deductible, decided against it for obvious reasons.

The weekend of the 25th, J & son & I went up to Sacramento/Yuba City to see family. It was Taylor's 6th birthday that Sunday - and she was just so precious, that darling girl! She's got curls that are just simply angelic. But before we went to her birthday bash, we went to see my parents and finalized the whole bride price thing and got officially "Hmong-married". Whatever that means.

I guess what I mean by that is that J & I both feel that the whole Hmong-style wedding just so un-special to us. There's no symbol of love At All. I think (...no, I'm pretty sure) I still harbor some degree of resentment over the whole ordeal, but ultimately, It's Just Money...right?

Anyway, without saying too much, it was a pretty dramatic weekend. But seeing Taylor and Nicholas and my family balanced it out alright.

Onto May...wow, this month was pretty much penniless. I remember being totally Ba-Roke with a wiped-out savings account and family demands coming left & right for gift contributions. Then there was Mother's day to consider and upcoming birthdays - all at least 120 miles out of town. On top of that, there were snags in receiving my unemployment check and - whewwww...I need to take a breath. I can't believe how documenting this is making my heart race in a heart-attack kind of way.

Then last Saturday, J & I drove back up to Sac to see my family in honor of my mother. We spent the day at an island and the weather was hot yet cool. Both J & I got mildly sunburnt (I know, I'm an esthetician and I didn't have any sunscreen on me). Although I didn't have a gift for her in hand, I ended up ordering a skin lightening cream for her from Amazon and she should be receiving it some time this week or early next. Asians and hyperpigmentation - sucks!

This week some time, a couple of nights ago, in fact, J & I got into a HUGE blow up. It was the worst one yet. We'd just been so stressed out, so unhappy, so far from God that things between us were just spiraling quickly down the road of no return. It was full of tears, fears, truths...so revealing, so honest, so hurtful, yet so absolutely necessary. But ultimately, as the night turned into early morning, we just ended up where we started - and that's a place of love and forgiveness. We love each other and know and believe that we are not only better together, but we are soul mates.

After a day of recovery from the emotional storm, he suggested we each take 10 bucks up to Chukchansi and bet it penny slot machines. And though my eyes were dried out and burning, I decided it'd be a good idea and we went. It turned out to be so much fun! After months and months of focusing on everything but us, being together last night with just the two of us ~ ah, now that's what's makes it all so very worth it.